


Shifting Loyalties

by Zenece



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:51:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenece/pseuds/Zenece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A couple of months into their journey, the Voyager crew comes to terms with their new reality.  <br/>But the balances of loyalty are shifting...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shifting Loyalties

°°° Present Time °°°

B’Elanna was recalibrating the shock attenuation cylinders of the inertial dampening system when at the far end of Engineering a hatch opened. Chell and Tabor crawled out of the Jefferies tubes and Chell smacked down his toolkit so hard it made several of the crewmen in Engineering look up from their work. 

“Stupid Starfleet ships.” He muttered, rubbing his lower back. “Whose asinine idea was it to make these Jefferies tubes so narrow that one can really move in them? I mean, who designed these things?” 

“A guy named Jefferies, I assume.” Tabor commented dryly.

B’Elanna involuntarily smiled. The young man was usually a quiet guy, but she’d noticed that when he did speak, he often displayed a witty sense of humor. 

The half-Klingon glanced at her friend Seska to see if she had also noticed the exchange. The Bajoran was clearly amused by the other men’s conversation but when her look crossed B’Elanna’s her eyes were devoid of laughter. 

That was odd, B’Elanna thought. She and Seska had been friends since their Maquis days. If she thought about it though, her friend’s behavior towards her had been less than warm lately. B’Elanna frowned, trying to figure out what she could have possibly said or done to upset the other woman, but she came up blank.

Meanwhile at the other side of Engineering, Chell kept huffing and fussing. Finally he rubbed his hand over his blue bald head and checked the time. He grinned. “Ha, end of my duty shift! Risa Resort, here I come.” 

Lieutenant Carey put a hand on the Bolian’s arm just as he was about to leave.  
“Would you mind checking in your toolkit into the utilities locker?” 

Chell stopped and eyed the man holding his arm. “As a matter of fact, I would mind.” He spoke. “I have a hot date with an Altarian masseuse.” He winked suggestively. “I don’t want to miss one minute of those six fingered hands on my body…” 

Carey’s eyebrow slightly rose. “I can imagine.” He stated coolly. “Nevertheless, please place your toolkit in the locker before you go.” 

Chell put his hand amicably on Carey’s shoulder. “Lieutenant, there are a lot of these kits available and I’m going to need this one again tomorrow anyway.”

“That may be so.” Carey replied. “But it’s standard procedure, so please check in the kit.” 

Already annoyed by having to crawl around in the Jefferies tubes, Chell puffed up his chest. “You know what I think about your precious Starfleet protocol?” He started.

B’Elanna, who’d been watching the exchange from afar, knew it was time she intervened before things got out of hand completely.  
“Chell.” She barked. “Check in that toolkit. Now. Unless you want to crawl into the secondary injector ports tomorrow to give them a thorough cleaning?” 

With a dirty look, the blue man slowly picked up the toolkit and brought it to the storage room. When he emerged from the storage locker, he was muttering. “Stupid Starfleet protocols. Too bad this isn’t a Maquis ship.” 

B’Elanna rolled her eyes at his comment. “Report to injector control tomorrow morning with a sonic brush, Chell.” She spoke succinctly. She hadn’t actually intended to punish him, but apparently the man had to learn the hard way that he just had to keep his comments to himself. 

When Chell opened his mouth to argue further, B’Elanna cut him off. “One more word and I’ll make it a microbrush.” She warned. 

Finally Chell got the message and shut up. 

“Dismissed.”   
B’Elanna shook her head as she watched him go. The Bolian was a good man, but he had to learn where the line was. Her gaze crossed Carey’s and the engineer nodded in thanks for her backing him up. 

B’Elanna curtly nodded back. She was the Chief Engineer on a Starfleet vessel. And even if she didn’t always agree with every Starfleet policy, it was her responsibility to keep her department running smoothly.

As the half-Klingon crossed Engineering to get to her office, she passed Seska who threw her a dirty look.   
“You didn’t have to be so hard on him.” 

B’Elanna frowned. “He was out of line to Carey.” 

Seska huffed. “You know, I never would have thought you could be such a stickler for the rules, B’Elanna. Janeway must be a truly great fuck for you to abandon your rebel nature like that.”

B’Elanna stared at Seska, trying to hide her surprise, while the other woman smiled innocently. “What, you thought nobody would find out?” 

With considerable force, B’Elanna grabbed the Bajoran by the arm. “Just what are you implying?” She growled, wondering exactly how the other woman had found out about her involvement with the Captain. 

Seska didn’t seem fazed. “Look at the way your loyalties have shifted already B’Elanna.” She added feigning repugnance. “I mean, you’re siding with Starfleet against your own people: first Chell, now me…” She tilted her head, giving B’Elanna a quick onceover. “Kudos to Janeway though for finding a way to keep her token Maquis Chief Engineer in check.”

B’Elanna roughly let the other woman go and threw her a vile look. “For your sake, I’m going to forget this ridiculous conversation ever took place Seska.”

“I won’t.” The other woman replied ominously. “Because when push comes to shove, I’ll remember where your loyalties lie.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” B’Elanna asked, eying the Bajoran surreptitiously. 

“It means you better remember who your real friends are before it’s too late.” Seska smiled venomously.  
Without waiting for a response, she turned around, leaving the other woman wondering about what had just transpired.

 

°°° The First Time – Two Months Ago °°°

“You wanted to see me Captain?” 

Captain Janeway grabbed a PADD from her desk and waved it in the air. “Your energy efficiency improvement proposal.” She stated with a frown on her face.

B’Elanna nodded, feeling particularly proud of the solution she’d come up with in answer to the Captain’s request to make the power distribution system on the ship more efficient.

“Can you explain to me why I just wasted my valuable time reading a proposal that disregards just about every safety protocol we have on this ship?” Janeway asked irritably. 

Over the last few weeks, more and more problems had been popping up on Voyager. These small technical issues could have been easily dealt with by spending a day or two in dry-dock, with plenty of spare part available. But out in the Delta Quadrant, there was no such thing as dry-dock and relatively small problems suddenly became a lot bigger, requiring alternative strategies and solutions. And B’Elanna’s current proposal, to improve the efficiency of their energy management, just seemed like it was written to defy everything Starfleet held dear.

Baffled by the obviously less than enthusiastic reception of her proposal, B’Elanna rose her eyebrows. “You said we needed drastic improvements because we can’t afford to continue to waste energy like we’ve been doing.” The engineer clarified her reasons for submitting the audacious proposal. 

“That doesn’t mean I want you to turn this ship into a ticking time-bomb, Lieutenant.” The Captain countered, getting up from her desk. “Improved efficiency will be of little use to us if we’re blown to smithereens because too many people took a sonic shower at the same time.”

B’Elanna felt her irritation levels rise at Janeway’s overly critical reception to her proposal. “Safety protocols won’t do us any good either when we’re stranded somewhere in the middle of nowhere with not enough power for even one sonic shower for the entire crew.” She retorted angrily. 

Janeway rounded her desk and came up to the half-Klingon. “This kind of cowboy proposal might have worked in the Maquis, Lieutenant.” She stared pointedly at the half-Klingon. “But this is a Starfleet vessel. Safety protocols are in place for a reason. And if you can’t understand that disregarding them completely is foolish and irresponsible, then maybe I made a mistake when I appointed you Chief Engineer.” 

B’Elanna swallowed hard, feeling anger rise into her chest. The only thing that kept her from hitting the woman in front of her was her suspicion that Janeway was jumping to conclusions without having read the proposal all the way to the end.   
“You chose me because you needed someone who could think outside the box, Captain.” She spat. “But you’re right, if you expect me to blindly follow your precious Starfleet rules, then I guess it’s clear I’m not the right person for the job.” 

Without waiting for a response, she stalked to the Ready Room doors, stopping right before them. “If you scroll to the end of the proposal, you’ll find the risk analysis on bypassing the security protocols and the contingency plan that Lieutenant Carey and I drafted for this cowboy-proposal.” She stated succinctly without looking back. Then she exited the Ready Room before her anger made her do something she would regret later.

~

That evening, Kathryn Janeway stood in front of her Chief Engineer’s quarters and took a deep breath. After the other woman had marched out of her Ready Room, she’d scrolled down to the end of the proposal and had indeed found a detailed addendum on the impact of bypassing the safety protocols and even a comprehensive contingency plan. The fact that it was there, and that it had been there all along, showed that the proposal was far from the wild and irresponsible idea Janeway had considered it to be at first and she recognized that her reaction to the half-Klingon had been less than appropriate. 

Other pressing matters at the time had prevented her from going after the other woman, but now, before she would retire to her own quarters for the evening, she needed to apologize to Torres. 

She pressed the door chime and heard a vague ‘come in’. When she entered the room, B’Elanna Torres just came out of the bathroom, dressed in a knee-length dark red silk robe, closed with a sash. When she saw who was at the door, she stopped, crossed her arms in front of her chest and angled her head, giving the Captain a defiant look. 

Janeway canted her head. “I’m sorry to disturb you Lieutenant, but I owe you an apology.” She stated softly but clearly. “I read your proposal in detail,” she continued, holding up the PADD, “and it’s worth considering.” She took a few steps inside the room, offering the PADD to the younger woman. “I’ve indicated which parts of your contingency plan I’d like to see worked out in more detail,” she added, “before you can give your plan a try.” 

B’Elanna expression softened and she stepped forward to take the proffered PADD. “Thanks.” She spoke, not entirely convinced whether Janeway was being sincere or not.  
“I’ll look into it.”

There was a moment of silence before Janeway spoke again. “You’re a good engineer, B’Elanna and despite what I may have hinted at earlier today, I don’t regret putting you in charge.” She cocked her head. “I’m sorry for making you believe that I doubted you.” 

Unsure of how to respond, B’Elanna simply nodded briefly. “I’ll uh…” She held up the PADD. “I’ll modify the contingency plan as soon as possible.” 

The Captain threw her a tired smile and absentmindedly rubbed the sore muscles in her neck. “And I’m sure I’ll find some time to look at your adaptations.” She knew her schedule was completely full with all the things that required her attention as it was, but somewhere somehow, she would make some time for Torres.

B’Elanna eyed her superior officer and noticed a certain weariness slipping into her demeanor as she started turning around, getting ready to leave. The half-Klingon found herself wondering just how much stress the other woman had to be under.   
“Sore neck?” She asked softly before Janeway reached the door.

The Captain stopped and turned around, wincing slightly as her hand moved to touch her own neck. “Yeah.” 

B’Elanna put down the PADD and took a step closer. “Mind if I…?” She gestured with her hands, suddenly feeling the need to give something back to the other woman.

Janeway’s expression became guarded, remembering how her fiancé Mark used to do exactly the same when she came home in the evening. Her first thought was to decline Torres’ offer, not wanting to tread on the memories of Mark, but the muscles in her neck were protesting so much, she finally nodded briefly in acceptance. 

“Sit down.” B’Elanna spoke softly, indicating a small ottoman next to the couch. The Captain sat, slightly lowering her head while B’Elanna moved to stand behind her. She placed her hands on Janeway’s neck and started to slowly knead the muscles. 

Janeway let out a pained groan when B’Elanna touched one of the many tender spots and the half-Klingon paused briefly. “You alright?” 

“Yes.” The Captain spoke softly and the half-Klingon continued. 

“My fiancé used to do this almost every night. It helped me relax.” Janeway uttered between the flashes of discomfort. “I know the kinks only come out when it really hurts…” She groaned. 

B’Elanna frowned slightly as Janeway mentioned her fiancé. In the short time they’d been stranded in the Delta Quadrant, she’d never heard the Captain speak about her personal life back on Earth.  
“I’ll try not to hurt you too much.” B’Elanna spoke softly, trying to find the right balance between applying enough pressure to be effective but not to torture the other woman. 

Janeway only huffed in response as B’Elanna’s fingers expertly worked the knots out of her muscles. She had her eyes closed and she was focused on nothing but the physical sensation she was experiencing. All thoughts of Voyager and the Delta Quadrant receded to the back of her mind and for a brief moment her mind made her think that the massaging hands belonged to Mark and that she was home in Indiana. She was about to turn her head to place a kiss on his hand, the way she always used to do, when her sense of reality returned and she gasped, veering away from B’Elanna’s touch. 

“That feels much better, thanks.” Janeway spoke self-consciously, rubbing her neck. She didn’t trust herself to look up at the other woman, not sure how close she’d actually come to kissing her hand.

“I’m not quite finished.” B’Elanna spoke hesitantly. “You’re really tense.” She tentatively placed her hands on the Captain’s shoulders again pulling her back in her original position.

Because of her emotional response to the massage, Janeway wasn’t sure she wanted the other woman to continue. But the protest of the abused muscles in her neck and shoulders prevailed and she found herself giving in to the half-Klingon’s skillful touch.  
Soon Janeway found her eyes closing again and she moaned in response to the massaging hands. She’d been under constant stress for so long now, her body was more than ready for a reprieve.

B’Elanna felt how the Captain gradually relaxed because of her touch and found it strangely satisfying to help the other woman with such a mundane thing. The sounds Janeway was making only served to encourage B’Elanna to intensify her massage and gradually the half-Klingon found that her goal was no longer to get out the kinks in Janeway’s muscles, but to make the other woman moan.

B’Elanna’s nimble fingers tentatively slid underneath the collar of Janeway’s turtleneck, gently massaging the tense muscles of Janeway’s neck within the small confines of the fabric. Janeway held her breath for a moment, then her hands slowly started opening her uniform jacket. B’Elanna helped her to take it off and she gently tugged at the collar of the turtleneck, wordlessly stating that that particular piece of clothing was also in the way. Much to the half-Klingon’s surprise, Janeway also took off the turtleneck without looking at her. 

B’Elanna unconsciously licked her lips as she placed her hands on the Captain’s exposed shoulders and felt the other woman exhale when she made contact.   
Without clothes in the way, B’Elanna could knead the muscles much more effectively, eliciting throaty moans and gasps from the other woman. 

Slowly, B’Elanna leaned forward as she continued touching her Captain. Janeway could feel the half-Klingon’s warm breath on her neck. She bit her lip at the sensation and slowly tilted her head to expose more of her neck to the half-Klingon, subconsciously inviting the other woman.

With courage she didn’t know she possessed, B’Elanna closed the distance and Janeway gasped in surprise as she felt B’Elanna’s warm and soft lips at the nape of her neck.   
She closed her eyes, having forgotten how much she’d missed intimate contact with another human being. “I’m faithful to Mark.” She whispered although she wanted nothing more than to give in to the woman touching her.

B’Elanna moved back a little, letting her hands rest on the other woman’s shoulders, stopping the massage without breaking contact.  
“I only want to help you relax.” She spoke softly but with confidence since the Captain hadn’t slapped her in the face. “Mark would understand how important that is…”

While she spoke, Janeway could feel the other woman’s breath tickling in her ear and her body was crying for her to give in to what her Chief Engineer was offering. Yet she struggled with her conscience. 

After a couple of seconds, B’Elanna’s hands slowly started caressing her shoulders and neck again.   
“Let me help you…” She whispered.

Janeway’s head tilted back and she exhaled, unable to break away from a touch she craved. “Yes…” She breathed.

At the utterance B’Elanna’s hands roamed Janeway’s back and shoulders with intensified strokes and she bowed down to kiss her superior officer’s neck again. At the same time her hands slipped around the Captain’s waist and slid down to cup her breasts. 

“Yes…” Janeway hissed again at the contact. B’Elanna kneeled on the ottoman behind the other woman and pressed her body against Janeway’s backside while her hands gently but firmly kneaded the other woman’s breasts through the fabric of her bra. 

Janeway moaned and rolled her head back, leaning against the half-Klingon. One of B’Elanna’s hands slid further down over the Captain’s stomach and deftly opened the pants before slipping her fingers inside her uniform. 

Any hesitation that could have entered Janeway’s mind was immediately dispelled as B’Elanna hotly kissed her neck. At the same time the Engineer’s hands stroked her intimately and Janeway moaned loudly. 

The sound urged B’Elanna on and she intensified her touch. Janeway’s body undulated against her and the Captain’s breathing became more labored until she suddenly held her breath and released it in short gasps as she came.

B’Elanna’s movements stilled as the other woman came down from her high, but the half-Klingon felt her own need for release rise. Quietly, without breaking the contact with the warm body in front of her, she slid one hand down and started touching herself. 

As the wave of her orgasm subsided, Janeway became aware of B’Elanna’s short and sharp movements behind her back and she held her breath as it suddenly dawned on her that B’Elanna was taking care of her own arousal. She remained still as the half-Klingon’s ridged forehead pressed against her shoulder and the other woman’s body shook a little while a punctuated groan escaped her as she came. 

They both stayed motionless for a moment, finding their breath, before Janeway leaned forward to grab her turtleneck and uniform jacket from the ground while B’Elanna stood up and tied the sash of her robe.

A little unsteady on her legs, the Captain made a feeble attempt to flatten a few strands of hair which had escaped her bun. She felt less self-conscious than she would have thought. 

“Feeling better?” B’Elanna asked softly, while maintaining a respectful distance. 

With a half-smile, Janeway nodded once.   
“Goodnight.” She spoke softly.

B’Elanna smiled back. “Goodnight.” 

 

°°° Present Time °°°

B’Elanna sighed as she looked at the PADD in front of her. Making the Engineering planning was her least favorite activity of all times, yet it had to be done. Systems all around the ship needed rigorous maintenance because there were simply not enough spare parts available to just replace everything when it failed. And so, part of her Engineering crew had to be tasked with checking the critical systems regularly in order to avoid untimely failures and breakdowns. 

These maintenance jobs were considered to be the most boring tasks among her crew and B’Elanna tried to divide them evenly without showing any favoritism.   
According to her rotation scheme, Seska was scheduled to perform the next maintenance of the EPS conduits. 

As she was about to put the other woman’s name on the schedule, she thought back to the strange conversation they’d had a couple of days ago. Next to asking herself exactly how Seska had found out about her and the Captain, she also wondered why her friend would think she was no longer loyal to the Maquis. 

Just like all the other Maquis, B’Elanna was just trying to make the best of the situation. They’d lost their ship shortly after their arrival in the Delta Quadrant and Janeway had offered the Maquis a place on Voyager, under her captaincy of course, and under Starfleet rules. When she made Chakotay her first officer, she’d made it clear that it was her intention to integrate the two crews. Although that decision must have largely been based on their precarious circumstances, B’Elanna felt that the Captain had kept true to her word when she’d appointed her to Chief Engineer over Carey who’d been next in line for the position. 

B’Elanna fingered the metal bar pinned to her collar. At first she’d been sure that Janeway had set her up to fail, to prove to Chakotay that she couldn’t do it and that Carey was clearly the better choice. But much to her surprise, Janeway had wanted the half-Klingon to succeed and treated her just like she treated any other Starfleet crew member. 

Janeway had given the Maquis a fair chance and B’Elanna wondered why Seska was still so hostile towards the other woman.   
With a frown she added the Bajoran’s name to the maintenance schedule for the next week and hoped she would just do the job without complaining for once.

“Is that the duty roster for next week?” Susan Nicoletti looked over her Chief’s shoulder. 

B’Elanna nodded. “You and Vorrik are scheduled to run a level three diagnostic of the impulse drive.” 

Chell and Garron also joined in to check the roster.  
“Hey Seska!” Chell shouted to the Bajoran. “You drew the short straw: EPS maintenance!” 

Seska shrugged and seemed to pretend she didn’t care while Chell laughed at her. Yet just before she turned around, B’Elanna noticed a smile appear on the Bajoran’s face for a split second. With a frown, the half-Klingon wondered what that was all about.

 

°°° The Second Time – One Month Ago °°°

B’Elanna sat in her small office in Engineering and stared at the schematics of the EPS system in front of her. It was already quite late and through the open door of her office she could barely see or hear the handful of people working the night shift.   
She stifled a yawn as she programmed another plasma flow simulation and figured she ought to call it a day and go to bed. Her eyes wandered through the room as she waited for the computer to generate the energy diagrams she requested. It was probably a good thing that her office was too small to put a couch, or she’d wind up sleeping there all the time instead of retiring to her quarters. 

A soft but familiar voice broke her reverie. “I didn’t think you’d still be here.” 

B’Elanna turned her head and sat up more straight in her chair. “Captain.” She uttered, still unable to fully relax in Janeway’s imposing presence.

The redhead held up a PADD. “I finished reading the status update of your energy efficiency project.” She placed it on the engineer’s desk. “I added some thoughts and comments.” 

“Thanks.” B’Elanna nodded, relaxing marginally. “You didn’t have to bring it all the way down here yourself. I could’ve picked it up tomorrow.” 

The Captain threw her a tired half-smile. “That’s alright. A walk like this usually helps me unwind.” 

B’Elanna leaned back in her chair. “Still having trouble to relax?” She spoke softly, deliberately hinting at their previous encounter in her quarters a couple of weeks ago.  
She eyed the Captain carefully, wondering what Janeway’s reaction would be since neither of them had said anything about it afterwards. 

A flicker of vulnerability crossed the Captain’s face and her posture became rigid. After a beat, she lightly tilted her head. “Yes.” She answered softly, maintaining eye contact with the other woman. 

B’Elanna felt the control of the situation shifting to her as she realized Janeway would never directly ask for what she needed. Casually, she got up from her chair and circled her desk. As she passed the door, she closed it and subtly engaged the privacy lock before looking at her Captain.   
“Would you like me to help?” 

Janeway looked away as contradictory emotions of torment and desire warred inside her. After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded imperceptibly. “Yes.” 

Slowly B’Elanna moved to stand behind the Captain and felt a shudder go through the other woman when she gently placed her hands on her shoulders.   
“It’s okay.” The half-Klingon whispered, aware of the other woman’s inner struggle. “I can just give you a massage…” 

“I know…” Janeway whispered so quietly it could barely be heard. Her fingers moved up to slowly open her uniform jacket. “But I need more…”  
She moaned as B’Elanna’s warm lips kissed her neck, while helping to take off the Captain’s uniform jacket. 

“Yes.” Janeway hissed as B’Elanna’s arms slid around her waist and her fingers found their way underneath the hem of her turtleneck, touching the sensitive flesh of her abdomen. The piece of clothing was hastily taken off and Kathryn turned around when she felt the fabric of B’Elanna’s uniform jacket brush against her bare back. 

As Kathryn started to open the gold and black garment, B’Elanna picked up her Captain and placed her onto the desk before shrugging out of her own uniform jacket. With an urgency that surprised the half-Klingon, Janeway also pulled the turtleneck out of the way and deftly opened the other woman’s bra. Tentatively she reached out and touched the breasts of the half-Klingon, who growled softly in response. Kathryn’s eyes widened just a little at the sound and she moaned in return as B’Elanna’s hands rediscovered her body. 

“Sshh.” B’Elanna whispered hotly in her lover’s ear. “We’ll have to be quiet.” 

Kathryn let out a shuddering breath under the half-Klingon’s relentless teasing of her breasts through her bra. “Maybe we should take this somewhere else.” She reached behind her own back to open the damned garment and let out a deep sigh as B’Elanna moved down, taking a hardened nipple into her mouth. All thoughts about relocation quickly disappeared from her mind. 

B’Elanna’s mouth moved hotly over her flesh and Kathryn leaned back as the half-Klingon reached her pants, while deftly opening the catch. Kathryn lifted her hips so she could slide them down her legs together with her panties. With a few coordinated moves, the last of her clothing was removed altogether. 

“Touch me.” Kathryn breathed hotly and gasped as B’Elanna bent down and placed her warm mouth on her lover’s abdomen, slowly kissing her way down. 

Janeway’s breath came in short gasps as B’Elanna’s tongue eventually stroked her center. She lay on the table, looking at the ceiling with unseeing eyes, while her mouth was shaped in a perfect ‘o’ as the pleasure flowed through her until she couldn’t take it anymore. 

B’Elanna got on the desk and lay down next to the other woman as she came down from her high. She pressed a kiss on Kathryn’s shoulder as her hand subtly snaked down her own pants in order to pleasure herself. 

Tentatively, as if she wasn’t entirely sure of the action, Kathryn reached out and palmed the half-Klingon’s breast and slowly started massaging it. B’Elanna moaned appreciatively and Janeway continued her soft ministrations, adding to the other woman’s pleasure until she came. 

They lay next to each other on the desk for a few short moments, both catching their breath, until Kathryn got up and started to get dressed again. B’Elanna quietly followed her example. 

Janeway reached out to arrange B’Elanna’s tousled hair. There was a tenderness in her touch that surprised the half-Klingon somewhat.   
“Thank you.”

B’Elanna just smiled in return.

“Don’t stay up all night working.” Janeway spoke as she left her Chief Engineer’s office.

 

°°° Present Time °°°

B’Elanna fidgeted in her seat and checked the PADD in front of her again. The senior staff was gathered in the Briefing Room for the weekly staff meeting. However Janeway and Tuvok were both more than ten minutes late. 

Tom and Harry were sharing some banter while waiting and Neelix was sending worried glances to the chronometer. Finally Chakotay figured they’d waited long enough and tapped his combadge in order to contact the usually prompt Captain and Head of Security.

“Chakotay to Janeway.”   
“Chakotay to Tuvok.” 

There was no response. 

“Computer, locate Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Tuvok.” The First Officer spoke with a frown.

“Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Tuvok are in their respective quarters.” The Computer answered dutifully. 

While Chakotay tried to contact them again, Neelix got up from his chair.  
“Something’s wrong.” 

When there was still no response, Chakotay nodded and got up as well. “Let’s go.” 

Worriedly, Chakotay, B’Elanna, Tom, Harry and Neelix headed for the turbolift and hurried to deck three – section two where Janeway’s and Tuvok’s quarters were adjacently situated. Chakotay and B’Elanna pressed the Captain’s doorchime, while Tom, Harry and Neelix did the same at Tuvok’s door.   
When neither call was answered, Chakotay gave the order to override the lock.

It took B’Elanna less than two seconds to do so and she and Chakotay entered the room. B’Elanna frowned as she noticed a vague scent inside the Captain’s quarters. It was subtle and familiar, but she couldn’t immediately identify it. She forgot all about that however when she noticed the Captain slouched on the couch, clearly unconscious. Chakotay kneeled next to her and nodded to the engineer when he found a weak pulse. 

“Neelix to Chakotay.” The Talaxian’s voice sounded over the comm. “We found Tuvok unconscious. We’ll have him beamed to Sickbay.”

“No!” B’Elanna yelled, suddenly realizing what the smell was. “I smell plasma coolant in here.” She explained. “If we transport, it will ignite and obliterate half the deck.” She grabbed the Captain in her arms. “Bring Tuvok outside to the corridor. I think it’s safe there.” 

Chakotay ran ahead of her, accessing the internal scanners in the corridor in search for plasma coolant present in the air.   
“It’s clear.” He spoke.

Tom and Harry joined them, holding Tuvok’s unconscious body. 

“Chakotay to Transporter Room One, beam everyone in this section to Sickbay.” 

The corridor on deck three disappeared around them and a fraction of a second later, the entire party found themselves in Sickbay.

The EMH and Kes immediately ran over to the new arrivals and helped them put Janeway and Tuvok on biobeds. 

“What happened?” The Doctor barked as he scanned Janeway.

“We found them both unconscious in their quarters.” B’Elanna started. “I think there might have been a plasma coolant leak or something.” 

The Doctor didn’t answer, focusing on the tricorder in his hand. 

“Will they be alright?” B’Elanna asked with a tight voice, unable to keep her eyes off Janeway’s motionless body lying on the biobed. 

“I don’t know yet.” The EMH answered curtly. “Now please, stand aside so I can do my job.”

The senior staff all stepped back and Chakotay grabbed B’Elanna’s arm. “Get back to deck three and secure the area. Find out what happened.” 

~

“It looks like there was a small rupture in one of the coolant manifolds behind that wall panel.” Lieutenant Carey spoke. His voice was slightly muffled by the oxygen mask he was wearing. 

B’Elanna, also wearing a mask, nodded. “Makes sense.” She concurred. “The particles could’ve easily entered the ventilation ducts close to the manifold and spread through the entire room.” She craned her neck as she tried to see where the shaft led, the movement strained by her mask. “My guess is Tuvok’s quarters are connected to the same ventilation duct further down that way. That would explain why the concentration of coolant was lower in his quarters.” 

The half-Klingon pulled her head back. “I’ll check the internal schematics to make sure these are the only areas affected.” She headed over to Janeway’s desk. “In the mean time, why don’t you ventilate the room first before you replace that manifold so we can get rid of these obnoxious masks.” 

At the Captain’s workstation, B’Elanna accessed the environmental system’s schematics as well as the plasma coolant network. Over her shoulder she looked at Carey working on purifying the air and tried not to think how this was the first time she was actually standing inside the Captain’s personal quarters. Somehow, she hadn’t expected to be here for the first time with Carey, wearing an oxygen mask. 

Her eyes fell on the photo on Janeway’s desk, where she was posing with a man, her fiancé B’Elanna assumed, and a dog. The Captain was wearing her uniform, smiling happily into the lens as she hugged the dog. The man was in civilian clothes.  
B’Elanna was surprised as she identified the clenching of her stomach to be due to jealousy.

“Lieutenant?” Carey touched her arm in an effort to catch her attention. “You can take off the mask now. The air is clear.” 

B’Elanna tore her gaze away from the picture and took off the mask, while moved to the open wall panel and started working on replacing the manifold.   
“It must have started leaking only recently.” He spoke. “Otherwise someone would have noticed it.” 

B’Elanna remembered Seska had been on maintenance duty the day before and made a mental note to ask her about it. She scanned the schematics and verified that indeed, the leaking manifold was adjacent to an air duct which led to both Janeway’s and Tuvok’s quarters. The Captain was fighting for her life in Sickbay because of nothing more than an unlucky chain of events. 

B’Elanna checked the maintenance logs of both environmental control and the plasma coolant system and frowned when she noticed that someone had accessed the schematics of both systems only the day before. The person’s identity had been removed, but B’Elanna wasn’t easily discouraged. A few minutes later her eyes widened as she discovered that the person who’d gone to so much trouble to disguise her identity was Seska.

 

°°° The Third Time – Two Weeks Ago °°°

B’Elanna sat in the Mess Hall, having a quick lunch with a few of her Engineering staff. All of them had been pulling double shifts after the last few Kazon attacks and B’Elanna had basically ordered all of them to make some time to eat now that Voyager’s critical systems were stable again. 

Over the past few days, the Kazon had been relentless in their attacks. Although Voyager possessed superior technology, weapons power and defenses compared to one Kazon ship, a group of five ships or more could do significant damage to the Starfleet vessel. And attacking in larger groups had been exactly what the Kazon had been up to. Only the last forty-eight hours had their attacks subsided, and the Voyager crew had been catching their collective breath, working hard to get their ship in good shape again.

The atmosphere at their table was rather subdued, since most of the Engineering crew was quite tired. However Chell, always attempting to lighten the mood, was in the middle of a story about a Dabo-girl he’d met once in a Trellian bar when the doors of the Mess Hall opened and Janeway and Chakotay came in, heading for the counter to grab a plate of the stew Neelix was serving for lunch. 

“You know, I don’t know why she just doesn’t form an alliance with one of these Kazon sects.” Seska suddenly interrupted Chell’s story as she watched the command duo take a seat at the other end of the Mess Hall. “It’s like she’s determined to get us all killed.”

Chell, stopped in the middle of a sentence, together with the group stared at Seska while she shrugged. “What?” She spoke. “Don’t tell me you all haven’t thought the exact same thing when the Kazon are trying to blow us to the next world?”

B’Elanna frowned at her friend’s words and was about to comment when Lieutenant Carey spoke.  
“With our technological advance over the Kazon, forming an alliance with one of their sects would considerably alter the balance of power in this sector.” He tried to explain. “The Prime Directive clearly forbids this kind of interference with other cultures.” 

“You mean YOUR Prime Directive.” Seska countered vilely. 

With his dispassionate voice, Vorrik joined the debate. “Since you’re serving on a Starfleet ship under a Starfleet Captain, logic dictates that the Prime Directive also applies to you.” 

Seska half rose from her chair and threw the Vulcan a dirty look. “Let me be clear.” She hissed. “I may have to live on this ship, but just because I’m here doesn’t mean I serve under Janeway and her insipid Federation rules.” 

“Seska.” B’Elanna spoke, surprised by the vehemence in the Bajoran’s voice. “That’s enough.” She looked around the table. “Look, we’re all feeling the stress of being under constant attack by the Kazon. Let’s just focus on keeping this ship whole and let someone else worry about the rest, alright?” 

Luckily Chell saw that moment as an ideal time to recapture people’s attention by continuing where he left off with his story about the Dabo girl and most of the people around the table directed their attention back to him. 

After a few worried looks in Seska’s direction, B’Elanna’s gaze drifted to the Captain who was eating at the other side of the Mess Hall. Janeway hadn’t heard the discourse at B’Elanna’s table and was unaware of the animosity amongst her crew.   
B’Elanna noticed the tension in the other woman’s shoulders and didn’t pity the burden of command that rested solely on her Captain.

~

That night, B’Elanna was getting ready for bed when the door chime sounded. The half-Klingon answered the door in her red silk robe and she wasn’t surprised when she saw the Captain standing in the corridor. 

The older woman said nothing, but the weary look on her face spoke volumes.   
Gently, B’Elanna reached out and grabbed her hand, guiding her inside her quarters. The half-Klingon was reasonably sure that Janeway hadn’t really slept during the attacks and that worry had been her constant companion for much longer than that.

“Come here.” She whispered as she led Janeway to sit down on the couch. She started to take off the Captain’s uniform jacket, intending to give her a thorough massage in order to help the other woman relax. 

Yet Janeway surprised her by grabbing her and pulling the half-Klingon closer to her, making her straddle her lap. With decisive hands, she opened the sash of B’Elanna’s robe and parted the halves, pushing the fabric off her shoulders, effectively exposing the other woman’s pert breasts.

B’Elanna gasped as the Captain bent forward and place her warm mouth over one of her nipples. Janeway’s hands roamed over B’Elanna’s flesh while she lavished the little bud with attention and the half-Klingon found her arousal rising fast. 

Reaching down, B’Elanna grabbed the hem of Kathryn’s turtleneck and pulled at it. Not wanting to break the contact too long, Janeway hastily yanked it over her head to take it off, disheveling the tight bun in her hair in the process. 

Unable to resist, B’Elanna reached behind the Captain’s head and undid the pin that was holding the other woman’s hair in a last semblance of order. When she removed it, Janeway’s long mane obeyed gravity and flowed down over her shoulders. 

B’Elanna smiled at the freed woman in front of her. Her eyes widened when Kathryn pushed her down on the couch and hovered on top of her with a grin. 

It was the first time that Janeway was taking initiative in their lovemaking and B’Elanna found it made for a nice change. She grabbed the other woman’s buttocks and pulled her closer, eliciting a hiss from her lover. 

Promptly, Janeway got up and removed her pants together with the remainder of her clothing, bringing them on equal footing.   
Then she straddled B’Elanna again, leaning down over the other woman so that their bodies were just barely touching. 

The half-Klingon looked up at the woman above her and found herself thinking she could look at this version of her Captain forever. Then their bodies touched and it occurred to her that touching was even better than looking. She placed her hands on the other woman’s shoulders and lightly scratched her nails down her back, enjoying the moan that her touch elicited. 

Kathryn’s hand reached down and easily found B’Elanna’s center as if she’d had ample practice in the matter. The Captain’s audacity surprised the half-Klingon and she had to admit that she also found it incredibly arousing to be on the receiving end of Janeway’s intense focus. 

Their first two encounters had been about a primal physical need, but the way they moved together this time, B’Elanna thought, was more sensual. There was a deeper connection between them.   
B’Elanna mirrored the Captain’s touch and watched the expression on her face change as she stroked her. They moved in unison, both giving and receiving pleasure at the same time, climbing together to the heights they both desired to reach. 

Kathryn buried her face in B’Elanna’s neck as the feelings overtook her and the half-Klingon growled and tightened her grip on her lover as they both tumbled over the edge of physical existence. 

They lay together while their breathing slowed down and B’Elanna languidly played with Kathryn’s hair. The other woman’s body was pleasantly heavy on top of her. 

“You okay?” B’Elanna whispered softly when Janeway made no attempt to move.

Slowly the redhead lifted her head and looked down at the other woman, studying her face while her own expression remained unreadable. 

B’Elanna stared at the vision scant inches above her, trying to identify what she was feeling. Somehow it felt more intimate to look at this woman the way she was doing now than to have sex with her. Following her instincts, B’Elanna craned her neck and softly kissed the other woman’s lips.

Janeway didn’t kiss her back.   
Instead she froze for a second and then pushed herself off B’Elanna. “No.” She whispered. 

B’Elanna wordlessly reached out and lightly touched her lover’s arm, looking for reassurance that the other woman was alright.

“I can’t.” Janeway spoke, referring to their kiss. “I’m sorry.”   
A pained look crossed her face. Somehow kissing B’Elanna seemed more like a betrayal to Mark than having sex with her did.

As the Captain quickly got back into her clothes, B’Elanna sat up on the couch and silently pulled her robe around her. She clutched the fabric in front of her chest, watching the other woman’s movements. 

When she was fully dressed, Janeway paused and turned to face the half-Klingon, uncertain what to say.   
“Are you okay?” She finally uttered, mimicking B’Elanna’s earlier question. 

B’Elanna nodded. “Yeah.” She stated evenly, hiding her confusion.   
“Goodnight.” She added softly.

Janeway eyed her for a split second, then threw her an apologetic half-smile. “Goodnight.”

B’Elanna watched her exit her quarters and couldn’t help but wonder what she’d been thinking.

 

°°° Present Time °°°

She’d gone over it in her head a thousand times and the more she thought about it, the more B’Elanna was convinced that she was right. What happened to the Captain was not an accident; it was attempted murder. Deep in her heart, the half-Klingon knew that the conclusion she’d attained was the only logical one. But the implication of her discovery chilled her to the bone: a woman she’d considered a friend had turned into a vicious killer. Seska was the only one with a motive and an opportunity.

B’Elanna hoped she had it wrong, that there was another, very logical explanation for Seska’s behavior and that the Bajoran’s hate for the Captain didn’t run so deep she’d tried to kill the woman.   
She rubbed her face. She would give Seska a chance to explain first. 

Seska was in main Engineering when B’Elanna found her. The half-Klingon walked up to her.   
“Can I see you in my office?” 

The Bajoran pointed to her console and started to object but B’Elanna shut her up.  
“Now.” 

Seska followed her inside without saying anything. 

“Shut the door.” B’Elanna ordered. 

“Why, you want to take me on the desk?” The Bajoran spoke with a thinly veiled sneer.

B’Elanna gritted her teeth at the remark but tried her best to remain calm. She turned around. “Why did you access the schematics of the ventilation system and the plasma cooling conduits? 

The Bajoran frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

“The schematics of the environmental system and of the plasma coolant network.” B’Elanna repeated. “You accessed both of them. Why?”

Seska shook her head. “There’s got to be a mistake. I didn’t look at those schematics.” 

As a response, B’Elanna moved to the wall display and presented the other woman with the evidence. 

“Come on, B’Elanna.” The Bajoran chuckled. “You really think that if I looked at those schematics and wanted to erase those entries from the logs I’d do such a half-ass job covering my tracks?” 

Not wanting to get stuck in a never-ending discussion, B’Elanna decided to change the subject. “You did the maintenance of the EPS-system a few hours before the accident. Did you check the conduits on deck three section twelve?” 

“Yes.” Seska nodded without hesitation. “I checked everything I was supposed to.” 

“When you opened the panel near the Captain’s quarters,” B’Elanna continued, “you didn’t notice any kind of leak in the coolant manifold?” 

The Bajoran shook her head. “No, nothing.” 

“Is it possible that you did something that may have caused the leak?” B’Elanna pressed.

“No, I didn’t come anywhere near the coolant system.” Seska replied. “And I resent what you’re implying.” 

“I’m just looking at the facts, Seska.” The Chief Engineer stated. “And the facts are that you don’t like the Captain at all and you seem to be closely connected to the circumstances leading to her accident.” 

“I don’t have to listen to this.” The Bajoran hissed and turned around to exit B’Elanna’s office. 

“What did you mean when you said to me earlier that I’d better remember who my friends were when push came to shove?” B’Elanna asked sharply.

Seska stopped for a moment before turning around. “You seem to have forgotten that you are a Maquis the moment Janeway put you in charge here.” She spoke menacingly. “And now, when she says ‘jump’, you jump. When she says ‘fuck’ you fuck. She folded you and Chakotay into her ranks, expecting you both to do the dirty work and turn the rest of us into her little Starfleet slaves.” The Bajoran hissed vilely. “We are supposed to just sit here and die at the hands of the Kazon because we don’t want to ‘alter the balance of power’?” She let out a shrill laugh. “We are Maquis. We’re fighters, survivors. With us running this show, things will be quite different.” 

B’Elanna shook her head, suddenly understanding. If Janeway died, Chakotay would take command and in Seska’s eyes the Maquis would be in power.   
“If Chakotay would be in charge he’d never form an alliance with the Kazon either.” The half-Klingon stated. “He’s been supportive of Janeway’s approach. You know that.”

Seska tilted her head. “It would serve Chakotay well to remember he’s one of us.” She threw B’Elanna a dirty look. “And it would serve you too.” She smiled sweetly. “Accidents happen all the time around here.”

“You’re insane Seska.” B’Elanna spat. “But you won’t get away with it.”

When the other woman threw her a challenging look, B’Elanna moved to the door and opened it, revealing Chakotay with a security team standing behind him. 

“What’s this?” The Bajoran backed up. “Chakotay, what’s going on?” 

The big Indian shook his head. “Save your breath, Seska. I’ve seen B’Elanna’s evidence, I heard everything you just said.” He stepped closer. “We also discovered you accessed the medical library to find information on the toxicity of plasma coolant.” Chakotay shook his head and sighed. “You tried to kill the Captain.” 

Seska shook her head. “No. No, you got it all wrong Chakotay. Someone is trying to frame me.” She pointed to B’Elanna. “SHE is trying to set me up because I discovered her dirty little secret and now she’s using the Captain’s accident to try and frame me and shut me up.” She pointed at the half-Klingon. “You see, I discovered she’s sleeping with Janeway and I wanted to report it because it’s against regulations. But she threatened to ‘destroy’ me if I did.”

“I seem to remember you never had a problem with relationships between ranks in the past, Seska.” Chakotay stated. “Unless you were playing me then as you’re attempting to do now.” He motioned to the security crew behind him. “Take her to the Brig.” 

As the men grabbed her, Seska kicked and screamed. “Don’t trust her, Chakotay!” She yelled as she was dragged out of B’Elanna’s office. “She’s sleeping with the enemy!” 

As Seska’s screams were fading away, Chakotay turned to B’Elanna. “About her accusations…” 

B’Elanna frowned. “It’s…” She stammered uneasily, not really knowing what to say.

Chakotay put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “None of my business.” He stated. 

The half-Klingon nodded, still wondering what she would have said if Chakotay hadn’t interrupted. 

 

°°° The Almost Fourth Time – The Night Before The Accident °°°

Another round of Kazon attacks had been taken their toll on the crew, and also Engineering had been running in overdrive to make sure they stayed in one piece. Just like the previous times, the attacks had lasted a couple of days and then abruptly stopped. Maybe it gave them a false sense of security, but B’Elanna decided to take her chance and indulge in one of her secret pleasures: reading one of her Klingon romance novels.

She was looking forward to spending the evening in bed with her book when the doorchime sounded. The half-Klingon bit her lip. She knew it was the Captain requesting entrance, requesting her touch, just like the last time the Kazon had given them a reprieve. She remembered how they’d touched each other that night, how she’d tried to kiss the other woman and how Janeway had rebuffed her.   
As she opened the door, B’Elanna wondered if Janeway would ever be capable to let her in. 

Without words she guided the Captain to the ottoman. Janeway’s uniform jacket and turtleneck came off without words and B’Elanna put her hands on the taut muscles of her Captain’s neck and shoulders. She massaged the kinks out of them, first gently but then gradually increasing the pressure until she felt Janeway give in to her unrelenting hands. 

B’Elanna kneaded all the tension out of the muscles beneath her hands and gradually slowed her massaging hands down until she came to a stop. With her hands still on the Captain’s shoulders, she bent down and lightly placed a kiss on top of the woman’s hair.   
“There.” She whispered. “That should feel much better.” 

Normally this was the time where she got closer to the other woman, where her touch became more intimate. But this time she couldn’t.   
Although it had been her hands, the Captain imagined the touch of someone else. And though B’Elanna was willing to help relieve the burdens that weighed so heavily on her Captain, being a replacement for her fiancé was beyond the call of duty. 

And so she retracted her hands from Janeway’s bare shoulders and stepped back. 

The other woman turned her head, the unspoken question clearly visible in her eyes. 

B’Elanna stood still, determined not to fidget. She threw the Captain an apologetic look, unable to deny the woman with words. Janeway held her gaze for a moment and understood what the half-Klingon was trying to say. She responded with a sad smile, and then picked up her clothes, donning them with efficient movements. 

As she zipped up her jacket, Janeway paused for a moment and looked the other woman in the eyes. “Thank you B’Elanna.” She spoke sincerely.

The half-Klingon bit her lip and nodded briefly before looking down while her inner voice questioned the necessity of turning her Captain away when she clearly needed her.

As the door closed behind Janeway’s back, B’Elanna fought hard to resist the urge to call the other woman back.

 

°°° Present Time °°°

B’Elanna was in the middle of programming a calibration algorithm when a voice sounded behind her. 

“She’s awake.” 

Relief flooded through B’Elanna’s veins at Chakotay’s words and only then she realized how worried she’d been about her Captain.   
She kept her voice even as she responded. “That’s great.” 

Chakotay smiled. “It is.” He concurred. “The Doctor said she’ll most likely make a full recovery.” 

B’Elanna threw him a tight smile before focusing on the console in front of her again. She was happy that Janeway was going to be alright, but she had work to do. 

“Are you gonna go see her?” 

The question hung in the air for a moment before B’Elanna turned to her Commanding Officer. “I’m not… We’re not…” She stammered, wanting the irritatingly considerate look on the Indian’s face to disappear. 

“She asked about you, you know.” Chakotay added gently.

B’Elanna swallowed and looked up, unable to keep the flicker of hope out of her eyes.   
“Yeah?” 

Chakotay sent her a knowing smile. “Go see her.” He spoke with a friendly urging.

~

In front of the Sickbay doors, B’Elanna stood, fidgeting. She was still unsure if it was a good idea to see the Captain. 

She felt responsible for what had happened to the woman. Not only had she denied Janeway the intimacy that B’Elanna knew the other woman needed, but by sending her away the night before the accident, she’d also unknowingly sent the Captain to her toxic fume-filled quarters which had almost killed her. 

Taking a deep breath, B’Elanna finally entered Sickbay. 

The lights were dimmed and its sole occupant seemed asleep on the main biobed. Tuvok had already recovered from his ordeal and been sent to his quarters to rest. The Captain was not yet so lucky.

As she took a few steps further in the room the EMH came hovering out of his office. “Visiting hours are over Lieutenant.” 

B’Elanna stopped. “I just wanted to see how she was doing.” She spoke softly, ready to start backpedalling to the door, telling herself she’d done what she needed to do. 

“B’Elanna.”   
The Captain’s voice was soft, and a little raspy from disuse. She feebly extended her hand. 

The half-Klingon looked at the Doctor who nodded reluctantly before approaching the biobed. 

“Not too long.” The EMH spoke firmly, glaring at B’Elanna. “My patient needs to rest.”   
He retreated back to his office. 

“I’m glad you came.” Janeway spoke slowly, her words still slightly slurred. “I owe you an apology.” 

Of all the things B’Elanna had expected the Captain to say, this wasn’t it. She frowned. “What do you mean?” 

Janeway tried to wet her lips with her tongue and shook her head. “Could you hand me that cup?” 

Carefully B’Elanna helped her to sit up a bit and handed her the cup with a straw that was next to the biobed. 

Janeway took a few sips of water and sighed before leaning back against the bed.   
“You were very kind to give me some comfort when I needed it.” She continued. “But I took advantage of you and I should have known better.” She tilted her head. “You were right to put an end to it the last time.” 

B’Elanna bit her lip. “Was I?” She whispered.  
Then she noticed a sharp intake of breath and saw the Captain’s face contort in pain. “Doctor!” She yelled in alarm.

The EMH appeared by the bed immediately and administered a hypospray to his patient and Janeway’s body seemed to relax.   
“Muscle spasms in the limbs are a consequence of her overexposure to the plasma coolant.” He explained to the frightened looking half-Klingon. “Eventually they should go away.” He turned to B’Elanna. “I think you’ve exerted my patient enough Lieutenant. She needs to rest now.” 

B’Elanna ignored him completely and instead gently took Janeway’s left arm into her hands. With deft fingers she started to massage the cramped muscles.   
The Captain grunted and exhaled heavily as the soothing touch slowly made the last of the pain ebb away. 

As the Engineer’s touch seemed to alleviate the Captain’s discomfort, the Doctor silently decided to let the half-Klingon stay. After a final check of his patient’s vital signs he returned to his office.

Although the cramps had already subsided, B’Elanna continued to lightly caress Janeway’s arm, unwilling to break the contact. “Better?” She whispered.

“Yes.” The Captain breathed, sending the other woman a grateful look. 

The half-Klingon helped her sit up and gave her the cup of water standing beside the biobed. When the Captain finished drinking, B’Elanna helped her get comfortable again. She tenderly brushed the side of Janeway’s face.   
“You need anything else?” 

Kathryn looked up at B’Elanna and held her gaze. “You don’t have to take care of me.” She spoke softly, not wanting the half-Klingon to feel obliged to help her. 

“I know.” B’Elanna replied, equally soft. “But I want to.” She tilted her head. “Everything I did for you, I did because I wanted to, because I care about you.” 

Janeway looked at her, understanding what the half-Klingon was saying to her.  
“I…” She started, but then faltered.

“You still love Mark.” It was said without judgment. 

Janeway nodded, biting her lip. 

B’Elanna gently stroked her Captain’s cheek. “Let me take care of you on this side of the galaxy.” 

Kathryn imperceptibly leaned in to the touch, remembering how kind and loving the half-Klingon had touched her when she needed her. She thought back of how she had refused B’Elanna’s kiss, not because she hadn’t want to kiss her, but because the intimacy of that act had felt like a betrayal to Mark more than any other touch. 

Janeway briefly closed her eyes. She wasn’t ready to just give up on Mark, to admit that they were really stranded in the Delta Quadrant and that she might never see him again. But when she looked at B’Elanna gazing down on her, she felt something stir inside her, and she knew that if it hadn’t been for Mark, she would not hesitate to explore her feelings, allowing the other woman to get closer. 

“I’ve enjoyed our moments together. I’ve needed them.” Janeway spoke softly. “But I’m not ready.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m not…” 

B’Elanna’s shoulders sagged imperceptibly, but she gently caressed Janeway’s face. “I understand…” She spoke softly. 

Kathryn grabbed B’Elanna’s hand. “I could fall in love with you.” She whispered. “But I… I can’t let go of Mark yet.” 

B’Elanna tilted her head as she lightly squeezed the other woman’s hand. “It’s okay.” She threw Janeway a sad smile. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere…” 

 

°°° Epilogue – Years later on Earth °°°

She hadn’t expected to be so nervous meeting Mark after all these years. Kathryn let out a deep breath as she watched the landscape passing underneath her shuttlecraft.   
Beside her, B’Elanna grabbed her hand and lightly squeezed it. Kathryn smiled as she looked at her wife, and suddenly she couldn’t wait for Mark to meet the wonderful woman who’d conquered her heart.


End file.
